My battle with anxiety has been getting better. The medication the doctor has put me on has helped. Sad to say, it is not a cure. Today is an example of that. I was feeling depressed and tired, so I thought I would go to the craft store. I pulled in, and almost had a panic attack. I will have good days and bad days, but thankfully i have a support group to lean on. Not a support group like i go and talk to strangers, but a group of people that are willing to help. I called my husband and he just listened. That’s all I need. I just want to talk to someone so that I don’t feel trapped in my crazy mind. My best friend called too. She didn’t and still doesn’t know I was having a bad day. It was nice just to talk about normal everyday stuff. The thing I hate most about all of this, is the feeling that I’m crazy and feeling out of place. I know it’s not true and lots of people suffer with the same illness, but that’s not how it works. See, what happens is I start to get anxiety or i have a panic attack and the logical side of my brain tells me it’s silly because there is no reason to feel lonely, or panic, or fear, because I have no cause. My emotions on the other hand are all askew. My mind races, my heart pounds and I feel crazy, like i could climb the walls. Then it turns into a circular cycle. Logic telling me I’m silly and me feeling more upset because I know it’s silly, but i cannot stop the feelings.
Anyway, that is a small peek into my battle. It,s getting better and most days are good days.