The Blog Strikes Back

I posted a blog yesterday, and again today.  Is it something new?  We will see.  I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, and reorganizing my life.  I miss writing in a journal and putting my thoughts down. I will not claim to be a writer, because I am not.  But if you have chosen to read this along with yesterday’s post, you have chosen to take this journey with me.

I will try my best not to focus on the negative, that is one of the goals I aim for.  I wish to grow and learn things about myself and others. Most of all I need to rid myself of the demons rattling inside my head, and I also love creative outlets.  That being said, let me give you insight into the journey we will go on.

So the last half of 2011 was a total crap shoot.  It was seriously dragging me down. Withdrawing inside myself, I had a hard time seeing the world outside.  I won’t go into details here, but trust me I had all the regular problems: family, car, and social. I also had a not so regular problem of my apartment flooding with sewage. Normally i would let all these things drag me into deep dark hole where everyone around me suffered.

Well, one day I woke up and decided I didn’t want to feel that way anymore.  Learning from these experiences and moving on is what life is about. I still have a life to live and people to live for. Life has had a way of shitting  me and I don’t expect that to change. So, if that isn’t going to change, then I need to.  It’s strange for me to have a hopeful out look on life, but I think I like it.  I’m no longer going to feel guilt or sorrow for things I cannot change. I want to focus on what I can change.  Besides, the way I look at it, things could be way worse.  My child is happy and healthy, I have a place to live and food to eat.  There are many out there who don’t have any of that. I also have a loving husband who has stood by me through all of my insanity, and that says a lot.  He lets me lean on him so much that at times I feel it’s unfair.  Many don’t have anyone to turn to.  These are the things I think of when things start to suck the life out of me.  I really don’t have much to be sad about, and the things I am sad about, I will do what I can to change them.

Enjoy this journey with me, and if you get bored, don’t read it anymore. It’s that easy to change things you don’t like.

“Most people think, “Life sucks, and then you die.” I disagree. I think life sucks, then you get cancer. Then you go into chemotherapy. You lose all your hair, you feel bad about yourself. Then all of the sudden the cancer goes into remission. You look good you feel good, you’re going great, and all of the sudden you have a stroke. You can’t move your right side. And one day you step off the curb at 68th by Lincoln Center and bang, you get hit by a bus. And then, maybe, you die.” ~Dr. Denis Leary

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